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Hello, beautiful souls! Lauri here—a mother, doula, birth coach, scientist, wife, and the author of "Awaken Through Birth." Today, let's dive into a topic that resonates with many expectant mothers—the fears that can accompany pregnancy. I've been there, felt that, and now, I want to share insights on overcoming these fears with knowledge and empowerment.
The Societal Influence on Birth Perception
In our contemporary society, the act of childbirth has become a somewhat secluded affair, often unfolding behind the sterile walls of hospitals. This uncoupling of birth from the rest of life has inadvertently cast a shadow on the normalcy of birth, rendering it an unfamiliar and, for some, a fear-inducing event. But fret not, for my intention is to guide you to be empowered, dispelling some common fears that can cloud the beauty of pregnancy and prevent you from experiencing the power of birth.
Can a human fit through my vagina?
Almost all of us are scared of the mechanics of birth—we wonder whether our babies will fit through our birth canals. Understandably, this fear may be particularly pronounced for first-time mothers. However, it's crucial to ground these concerns in statistical reality. Only a tiny fraction, a mere 0.4%, of women experience complications in which their baby cannot fit through their birth canal, and many of these are linked to malnutrition. Importantly, midwife assessments—literally palpating your belly to feel the baby—in later stages of pregnancy often offer more accurate estimations of the baby’s size than ultrasounds. If you are told late in pregnancy that you have a big baby, know that the ultrasounds are not 100% accurate and that many women have given birth vaginally to 10+ lb. babies. It happens all the time! YOU are most likely part of the vast majority, 99.6% of women, who are perfectly capable of birthing the babies that your bodies created—even if they are big!
What if I have my baby in the car?
Another fear that can linger in the minds of expectant mothers is the worry of not reaching the hospital in time. Statistics show that only 2% of births fall under the category of precipitous labors—those occurring in three hours or less. Such swift labors are relatively uncommon, particularly for first-time mothers—and when they do happen, they are almost always uncomplicated. From my personal experience, having gone from watching a movie to a baby in arms in just two hours, I can attest that precipitous labor can be an empowering, beautiful, and transformative experience. It's a testament to the notion that regardless of how the birthing process unfolds, there's an inherent beauty in what is meant to happen.
Overcoming Fears: Practical Tips for Empowerment
Now that we've confronted these specific fears, how do we go about dispelling them and fostering a sense of empowerment throughout pregnancy? Three practical tips come to mind. First, immersing yourself in positive birth stories can work wonders in reshaping your mindset. In an era where actual childbirth is rarely witnessed, hearing and witnessing positive narratives can be transformative. Platforms like "The Birth Hour" podcast and uplifting home birth videos on YouTube can serve as a source of inspiration and reassurance.
Second, it is paramount that you seek out knowledge. Most of us don’t go to a movie without watching the preview. We want to know what to expect. Please, make sure you know what to expect when your baby and your body decide it’s time! While knowledge is power, it is essential that you select sources aligned with the type of birth you desire (not all childbirth education is evidence-based!). If a particular avenue of knowledge heightens unease, seeking alternative perspectives can provide a more balanced outlook. Pay attention to what causes anxiety as you learn. Does learning which complications might lead to a cesarean birth cause a tightness in your chest? Or perhaps stories of episiotomies make your stomach feel queasy? These are pressure points that need massaging for you—your feelings are there to alert you to your personal fears so that then, you can work to dispel them.
Finally, incorporating journaling into your daily routine, particularly with prompts tailored to your own personal fears, can be therapeutic. By identifying and examining your fears—whatever they may be—you can develop strategies to ensure these fears do not wield undue influence over your labor experience. Fear slows down labor—so let’s take care of your fears now!
My hope is that these insights and practical tips will serve as your compass, guiding you through the seas of pregnancy fears towards a harbor of knowledge, strength, and newfound empowerment. If you're intrigued and would like to explore other fears as well as strategies to overcome them, I invite you to delve into the pages of my book, "Awaken Through Birth." Wishing you a pregnancy and birth journey filled with love, resilience, and the extraordinary beauty of new beginnings. You've got this!
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